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I Don't Know Where I'm Going

In 1997, 10-year-old Vera tries to connect with her father but they don’t share a common language.

synopsis

Lisbon, 1997. 10-year-old Vera has seen her father a handful of times. Christian lives in France and they don’t share a common language. Vera’s mother, Luisa, is a present and engaged parent but only talks superficially about Christian as the memory of their separation is still painful. When Vera’s father invites her to spend a summer vacation with him and his family, Vera is hesitant. She is a sensitive and introverted girl and has never been away from her mother. Upon her arrival, Vera is showered with compliments and attention. Christian is spontaneous, joyous and affectionate. But soon his social engagements and family life take over his attention and Vera is cast aside. Unable to process her emotions, she shuts down. Luisa takes her daughter home and tries to cheer her up but Vera is left alone to cope with her pain. Their relationship changes as Vera’s sadness turns to rage. Luisa finally brings herself to address her daughter’s feelings, as well as her own, so they can both move forward. In the last days of summer, Vera is excited about the beginning of the school year. It’s the first French class: the teacher asks if anyone is familiar with the language. Vera remains silent.

Director’statement

My parents separated before I was born. My father lived in another country, spoke a different language and had a new family. Our meetings relieved my father’s guilt but reminded me I had been abandoned. As a child I hid all the hurt and by the time I reached adulthood I was completely averse to the expression of painful emotions. Fatherlessness can create a subtler form of emotional trauma, one that is often overlooked. This film is about the need to open up in order to heal. It’s a tender exploration of a girl’s relationship to her inner self, a dissection of the human heart and its wounds. On the brink of adolescence, this is Vera’s coming-of-age story but also that of her relationship with her mother. I’m interested in the small situations of everyday life. Routines, hesitations, unspoken words. A simple aesthetic coupled with unsentimental observation suits a story that slowly and quietly unfolds. A cinema permeated with melancholy and yearning that never forces its hand, capturing the ache of a child trying to find her place in a world she doesn’t yet fully understand.

TFL PROGRAMME:
ScriptLab 2022
Discover more details here:
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TFL Catalogue 2022

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